What's next? The "Whimpering White Guys?"

“On Aug. 4, the NCAA said it would ban American Indian images and nicknames by school representatives at postseason tournaments starting in February. Mascots will not be allowed to perform at tournament games, and band members and cheerleaders will be barred from using Indian images on their uniforms beginning in 2008.
The decision prohibits schools with American Indian mascots from hosting future NCAA postseason events. Schools that have already been awarded postseason tournaments would have to cover any Indian depiction in their sports venues.” –AP

That’s the long and the short of it—and it’s a bunch of bulls**t. There are 18 mascots that the NCAA is focusing on with this, and only about half, it seems, are in division I-A. The Florida State Seminoles, the Utah Utes, and the Central Michigan Chippewas have all been exonerated and are allowed to keep their mascots.

I’ve done some looking. Out of the 119 division I-A schools, we’re talking about only five more schools. (I think.) Illinois has the “Fighting Illini”. San Diego State has the “Aztecs”. Arkansas State and Louisiana-Monroe both have “Indians”. And then the NCAA pointed their gaze at Hawaii, whose mascot is the “Warriors”. (News to me! I thought they were the Rainbows.) But how does the NCAA decide that “Warriors” are an “American Indian” mascot? Aren’t the American soldiers in Iraq, Afghanistan, and in WWII Germany also “Warriors”? My American Heritage College Dictionary (which I bought and was NOT given as a book loan, thank you) defines a warrior as “one who is engaged in or experienced in battle.” I’d say all 18 of these schools, then, by virtue of this very conflict are “Warriors”.

The fact is, nobody chose these mascots to make fun of American Indians (or ANY people, animals, plants, or miscellaneous things). They were chosen to instill school (and area) pride. To give a noble identity to a collective group of people…namely students, alumni, and faculty of that school. And, perhaps, they were even chosen to instill fear in their opponents. But this is not to say that ANYONE should take offense!

There are much more rampant violations, in my view, that should be taken care of. First of all, the lack of creativity: Yes, there are two “Indians” out of 119 schools, but there are three “Eagles”, three “Cougars”, three “Huskies”, four “Bulldogs”, four “Wildcats”, and FIVE “Tigers”. There are also multiple “Broncos”, “Bulls”, “Panthers”, “Falcons”, “Cardinals” (and a “Cardinal”, but that’s a tree), and “Owls”. There are “Bears” and “Bruins” and those are different from “Golden Bears”. Those are just some of the animals! There are also “Golden Flashes”, “Golden Eagles”, “Golden Gophers”, “Golden Knights”, “Golden Panthers”, and the “Golden Hurricane”. How about some originality?

In the wake of the current disaster, I can’t imagine that “Indians” is more offensive than “Golden Hurricane” (or just plain old “Hurricane”). Or “Cyclones”, or “Crimson Tide”, or “Green Wave”. Better get rid of those, too!

Syracuse dropped the “-men” from “Orangemen” and now they’re just “Orange”. I guess they didn’t want to offend any actual orange men. But I went to Millikin University and I can speak first hand, there is no pride in being a color. (Don’t read that wrong. Let me restate that.) We were the “Big Blue”. But there’s nothing to rally around. No tangible object. Just the color Blue. Sky blue? Navy blue? Baby blue? No…just “Big Blue”. And being blue blew. North Texas is the “Mean Green”. At least they have some sort of bird on their logo to rally around, but still doesn’t “Mean” put “Green” in a negative light. Maybe we should ban the color green!

It’s getting silly now, you think? Not any sillier than where it started. A color can’t be offended and a natural disaster can’t tell you how it hurts inside. I’m sure there are some that think these poor animals are being exploited, too (seriously, five “Tigers”?). But let’s focus on the people, for they’re the ones that make the NCAA work.

Okay, so there are 18 American Indian mascots (I’m assuming through all divisions). But what about the rest of the people? There are “Scarlet Knights” and “Black Knights” and “Golden Knights”. Should Elton John and Anthony Hopkins be offended?

There are “Blue Raiders” and “Red Raiders”. There are two “Spartans” and two “Trojans”, so maybe the people of Sparta and Troy (actually, one is the “Troy Trojans”) might like to file a complaint.

There are two “Rebels”. And I’m not talking about James Dean Rebels—I’m talking about cowboy hat, shoot ‘em up Rebels. One set of Rebels can be found in Mississippi, and though no one likes to admit it, the Confederate States of America is still a part of their heritage. And last I check, Las Vegas, Nevada wasn’t a part of the Confederacy.

There are two “Cowboys”. Surely those real life cowboys don’t like to be portrayed with lassoes and pistols, and five o’clock shadow all the time. Better get rid of them.
There are “Vandals”, which refers to the Germanic Tribe that overran Gaul, Spain, parts of Africa, and Rome over 1500 years ago! Terrible people. And “Pirates”. Not any specific “Pirate” but the run of the mill, looting, pillaging, raping, and killing pirates. Can’t have that!
There are “Midshipmen”, “Cornhuskers”, “Boilermakers”, “Miners”, “Sooners”, “Mountaineers”, “Volunteers”, “Cavaliers”, and “Commodores”.

There are “Buckeyes” (that’s another plant) and “Hoosiers” (people from Indiana), and “Hokies” (which I thought was a manpowered carpet sweeper). I’ll bet they get overlooked. And I don’t suppose anyone bothered to ask if “Ragin Cajuns” was offensive, either.

My recommendation: These schools—ALL OF THEM—need to boycott the NCAA. Let the Association work for them and not the other way around. These schools have their own identities, their own long standing traditions, be it the Akron “Zips”, the Maryland “Terrapins”, or the North Carolina “Tar Heels”. They have to fight this moronic abuse of power and this politically correct divisiveness now before they’ve lost themselves. Fight it like the “Fighting Irish”…because really, who likes fighting more than those Irish?