Yardwork: The Final Frontier

About a year ago, I was living in someone else's 3-story house. I paid a little rent and did some yardwork and everyone just left me alone.

It was a housesitting gig the required very little of me. The owners were having major work done on the house and wanted someone to watch over the place while they relaxed in comfort in the home they were about to leave.

I'll never forget the big moment when I felt like I'd finally achieved adulthood (I've since had some relapses). I had just fixed the garage door on my own. I had just fixed the garage door. That may not seem like a big deal to a lot of people, but it was to me. And it wasn't just the garage door, but I also got the garbage disposal to work, too. I was becoming a regular handyman. Or, at least, your typical adult male.

Let me make this clear. See, I didn't just rig the thing up with bubble gum and some WD-40. I had actually fixed the thing. This from the guy who once burned his socks in the microwave.

Growing up, I never took much interest in these kinds of projects. My dad had a good number of tools. I even watched him use some of them. But it never soaked in. I used to watch my dad work on his car or on some other project and everything was just kind of supernatural. How could he possibly know what he's doing? He showed me how to check my oil, but I still pay to have it changed.

I was an actor. I didn't get my hands dirty with grease and grime. I had no desire to change a spark plug or sand a bench. And I knew one day I'd be called upon to do these things, perhaps by my own disinterested kids. (I think that's why I wanted--want--so bad to be famous. So I could pay someone else to do it all for me.) And look at me now: I'm a singing cupcake decorator. What kind of a man does that for a living?

I laughed at my friends who were getting married...it always made me laugh to see all these power tools in their registry. As if owning the tools means you know how to use them. "I'm the man. I have to register for tools." Ha!

If anything, I was more domestic indoors. I can cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner without so much as a burnt turkey wingtip. I can (but don't) clean an entire bathroom without batting an eye. But ask me change a gasket and I'll just laugh (gasket's a funny word, after all).

Things have changed. I fixed that garage door and that garbage disposal. I've shovelled snow for 6 hours straight (that driveway was nine car lengths, I swear.) I've done some stonescaping around the outside of my house. And today I used a leaf blower vac for almost 2 hours straight (see photo...I filled two bags). There's a certain something to be said for manual labor. It is rewarding! I'm actually looking forward to going back out there and finishing the job. Maybe I will register for tools when I get married. Maybe I won't look at my kid like he's got eels coming out of his nose when he asks me to fix his bicycle.

I can do this. I'm a man!