This just in from my grocer's freezer

In the '90s, we had President Clinton (see photo). Clinton would say one thing one day, be exposed as a liar, and say the opposite the next day. These lies were labelled "waffles" and Bill Clinton was the world's first "waffler". At a speech he gave in 1992, young Republicans in attendance sailed waffles towards the podium like Frisbees.

Nearly twelve years later, there was a new candidate making his way through the Democratic Party. His name was John Kerry (see photo). For a short time, Kerry too was a waffler. Republican strategists, perhaps Karl Rove, perhaps not, decided the whole waffle label had run its course. So they came up a new term for his lies: flip flops. Kerry voted for bills and then voted against them. He was the world's first "Flip Flopper". Non-supporters attended rallies with giant flip flops on sticks adorned with John Kerry's picture.

Apparently, a year after the end of the election, the nation's largest waffle company, Eggo, wants its political monopoly back. Just this morning, I saw a new product in my grocer's freezer. A half chocolate/half vanilla waffle called, you guessed it, a "Flip Flop". (No picture available. Click link to investigate: http://www.kelloggs.com/brand/eggo/flipflop/ ).

Now, if Fuzzy Zoeller comes up with a new method of algebra, I will know the Apocolypse is near.