So, you haven't been doing anything, is that what you're telling me?

What a beautiful night.

On Wednesdays my car has to be parked on the opposite side of the street to avoid being ticketed during street sweeping. I walked outside at around 12:30am and realized that it was a beautiful night.

I have known for some time that I'm an indoor person. Not that I don't like the outdoors. I've always loved camping and swimming and all that, but if your forced me to choose which kind of person I am, an indoor person or an outdoor person, I'd have to go with indoor person.

So I stepped outside and it occurred to me: the only time I ever really get any fresh air is when I'm smoking a cigar. Did you get that? I only get fresh air when I'm smoking a cigar. It's ridiculous!

After moving my car, I come back in the house and tool around on the computer for awhile. The whole beautiful evening awaits just outside my window, but I keep it out. I'm staring at a monitor and drinking a big ol' glass of water and the crisp autumn air is just waiting, like my childhood neighbor Blake, wanting to play.

It's important to note that I'm drinking water not because I necessarily like water. It's fine, but I'm no water snob. The filter in the pitcher is about 6 months overdue for a change. The thing is, my elbows and knees have been killing me lately and I've decided it must be dehydration. So I'm drinking water.

Then I open an email from a friend I haven't spoken to in years. It asks what I've been up to lately. My standard first response is to explain that I'm a singing cupcake decorator and that I'm not happy about it and that I'd rather be doing more legitimate performing. Then I peel off a list of credentials and experiences before I realize--THIS IS MY FRIEND! I am not in a job interview. I'm not auditioning. I am catching up with a friend. So I reconsider.

I sit for a moment, figuring out what exactly it is I should be saying. Should I tell my friend what I had for dinner? About the pen I flushed down the toilet? What have I been up to? And more to the point, who am I?

(For those of you regular readers of Glodys Gazette, you may recognize a similar theme in the post titled "Who are you?" But this is a whole new thought, please keep reading.)

I begin to think, "How do I spend my time away from work?" I do Sudoku puzzles, I write a blog, I tool around on MySpace.com, and every so often I get to watch some football. The highlight of my week usually ends up being a trip to the grocery store.

I've worn the same pants today all day...before and after my shower. I made beef jerky and then ate breakfast at 4pm. I have neither the time nor the money to do many of the things I remember as being fun. I sit around moping all day because I miss my family and I hate my job this and that. But then I remember I have friends and that picks me up. And I have God. So I'm not doing to bad. But I'm not doing to much, either.

I needed a change of pace. I grabbed my glass of water and a bag of jerky and I went outside and sat on my porch and tried to fall asleep. It was wonderful. A slight breeze. The view of Mars. Everything was perfect. But I couldn't last ten minutes and I came back inside.

So what's the moral? I think the moral is that there is not a life lesson to be learned in every little thing. Sometimes you coast through life on autopilot, sometimes you man the controls yourself. Sitting under the stars with a glass of water, a bag of jerky, and my eyes closed doesn't make me a better person. Failing to last more than ten minutes doesn't make me any worse. None of it makes a better answer to "What have you been up to?" It just makes an answer.