Dark Chocolate

Odd jobs. Free time. Money troubles. These are supposed to be the characteristics of someone who is unemployed. But I'm not unemployed. I'm a singing cupcake decorator, damn it! So why do these all apply to me?

As a singing cupcake decorator (official title: "Hersheyizer") at the Hershey Company, Chicago, I have experienced a whole new wave of dismay. I make more money than the other retail associates because I can sing. And I work more hours because there are fewer of us Hersheyizers. But I cannot make ends meet.

It's not as if being able to sing while decorating a cupcake is some really important job. But you wouldn't know that by the expectations laid upon me. On my days off, I am often called and asked to fill in for someone else or technical questions regarding the sound system or some such. That's right, I'm unofficially "on-call" for Hersheyizing!

Don't get me wrong. I do enjoy what I do. I like most of the customers and my coworkers. I do get to eat the occasional mistake. I'm even treated (no pun intended) right. It is not as bad as my old job as a traveling salt salesman. It's not as futile as the summer job I had sweeping a junkyard. But I dream of a day when I have both the time and the money to do something fun--besides work--again.

*Coming soon: What NOT to say to a Hersheyizer, the dangerous addiction of Sudoku, my mortal enemies--BankOne and Comcast....