I haven't been real diligent about posting blogs these past few months. I apologize for that. To be honest, I did write a few entries that I decided to "Save as Draft" rather than publish...and you should thank me.
I have referred friends to the blog, though, in emails and in conversation. Often topics come up in conversation (either live or via the internet) when I don't feel like giving a full answer when I've already posted a huge blog entry on the exact topic. And, not to toot my own horn, but I am often complimented when people read my posts on my writing.
I've come to realize that perhaps this is how I was meant to communicate. No, I haven't given up on acting or live performance, but it does seem that writing is a far better outlet for me than conversation ever has been.
See, for some time I've noticed that people don't really listen to me. Oh, I'm not offended--anymore. I have come to expect the spaced out look when I talk to my friends and the constant requests to "say that again" from my family. The reason (I hope) is that I am just an ordinary guy who tries to spice up his simple "how-was-my-day"s with tangents and back-stories. For instance, I cannot tell you simply that I had a nice, casual New Year's Eve and that I hung out with friends. No! The full story will include not just this New Year's Eve, but a brief rundown of every New Year's Eve since the great millennium party. I'll revel and I'll complain. I'll have to tell you about the big search this New Year's Eve for a cat and for a missing adult. I'll tie the two together to put a nice bookend on the story. I'll tell you somewhere in the middle about the amazing dinner we had that night, and the impromptu party that my friend's brother threw that might have ruined our good time. With that will come a story about backgammon and how I've played it all my life and how much it sucks to lose (which is why I felt bad for the guy whose ASS I KICKED--TWICE!!) That will lead to a story about my brother's wedding which might lead to a story about cigars. And on, and on, and on...
My closest friends have given up pretending that they're listening anymore. I'll see their eyes glaze over and just stop talking. (Or I'll read a more obvious clue: that they've started having another conversation without me.) They used to interrupt me unconsciously. Now, to compound the issue, they interrupt me on purpose just so they can laugh at how I never get to tell a story without being interrupted. And then they interrupt me unconsciously, again.
Even my family has this problem. Talking to my family usually requires a phonecall, and those are the worst. There's no eye contact. There's no togetherness. Often there's no signal! I cannot have a conversation that isn't interrupted, several times, by the person on the phone talking to someone else in the room (usually without turning away from the phone so as to aurally indicate that someone else is being talked to).
Maybe part of the problem is that my family and closest friends know all of my stories. All my little sidebars are old news. Perhaps I should let my mouth spew forth only the facts, like one of those news reports on Armed Forces Radio. In fact, I can remember about a two year span where I every time I spoke to my friend Paul, the first words from my mouth were, "I may have told you this already...".
In the end, however, I think it is I who needs to change. The world may be a better place with all the hot air I blow out of my flappin' gums. We can all get to where we need to go a lot faster if I don't have to stop to tell you the 45 minute story about the past 5 minutes of my life. (Or perhaps, if you don't have to stop and listen.) So here's what I'll do...I'll just write it all down. I'll edit it until I've got it just how I want it--tangents and all--and you can read it at your own pace.
Which reminds me of the time I narrated the kindergarten play, The Little Red Hen....
