Sufficient Funds

My God! Has it really been ten months since my last post? Wow!

There's been a lot going on and rather than write about it, I've been doing it. If you know me, by now you know what I've been up to and I don't really need a blog to tell you what I've been doing. There's a strange new twist, though, lately. I actually feel pretty good about things.

I've always been a pretty optimistic person. I always try to find the upside of things. Even still, I often felt like I was just slogging around in the mire, trying to make things happen.

Last week, I tried to take $20 out of my bank account so I could take the train home from work. To my surprise, a message flashed on the ATM screen that there were insufficient funds in my account. In fact, I had nothing left. I was aware that my cashflow was running low, but I had no idea I was completely out of cash. I went to the bank, foolishly thinking that something could be done. Maybe I could sign up for some account or credit card and get, oh, $25 in my account. Nope.

That's where things took their radical turn. Normally, I would wallow around in fear and self-pity. And with payday over a week away, that would be a lot of wallowing. Not this time. I borrowed a dollar from a co-worker to get home and then another 8 from my roommate to get to work for the next three workdays, and haven't spent a cent since.

I rationed what food I had in my refrigerator. I took full advantage of my four days off in a row and haven't left the house. I've even taken the initiative to call my collectors and tell them I couldn't send payment until Friday. (This is a departure from the usual practice of ignoring them until the last possible day.) Most importantly, I never got down about things.

It wasn't like I made some effort not to feel down. I didn't have to constantly remind myself that things would get better. I just knew, and know, things will get better. Maybe it's because this is my first overdraft since having direct deposit. Maybe it's because Spring is on its way. Maybe it's because I've finally realized that money does not have to be linked to happiness. I've often hear such rumors, anyway.

Whatever the cause, I wish it upon all of you.

God bless!