Confession

I have to admit, I've become an internet dater. It's true. Years ago, I signed up on one of those internet dating sites just as kind of a supplemental sort of thing. "I'll probably meet the woman of my dreams at a bar or the library or, for God's sake, anywhere but on the internet," I thought. Fast forward to about two weeks ago...someone actually showed some interest in me. What? Me? That's unheard of!

I tried the whole "3 free days and cancel before they charge you" once before, so this time I was forced to subscribe. I made mine a one month subscription. Thirty bucks! Man, if this actually works out it'll be quite a deal, but I don't spend 30 bucks a month on any social activity...which, oddly enough, is why I need the internet. It's one of those Catch 22 situations.

So I subscribed, but since I only had the subscription for a month (and don't feel like shelling out another $30 when I could've gotten a better deal) I've really had to rush into things. Normally, I take things slow. Glacially slow. Lay-low-until-I-get-to-know-her...and-her-new-boyfriend...make-that-husband...I'm-sure-they'll-get divorced-and-when-they-do-I'll-make-my-move slow. This time I subscribed and had my kids names picked out before our first date 8 days later. Talk about turnaround. But it didn't work out. So that leaves me to become the kind of guy I've tried to avoid becoming my whole life. The kind of guy who says all the right things to every woman he meets in hopes that one (or all) of them will swoon over him...me. I've only got a little bit of time!

And I've noticed something about a lot of women. They don't like guys who are 5'8", most of them. They've all got "strategically placed tattoos" (read: drunken stupor stains), and find themselves "spiritual, but not religious". I understand the not religious part. They're all tired of the "bar scene" but still like to go out. And there's not a single one who thought, "Oh, this will be a great idea," when they posted their information. They were either put up to it by their friends or they did it on a whim.

Out of all these cookie cutter bios, you can separate them into two categories: picky and picky, but lying about it. Yeah, some of them get real specific in describing their perfect match. Eye color, height, body type, job, income...even whether he's got exotic pets or not. The others are lazy. They think they're doing everyone a favor by leaving the descriptions on factory settings, but are they going to seriously consider a 3 foot tall Buddhist who only speaks Tagalog? Not a chance.

And another thing I've noticed...and this has nothing to do with dating websites...Lenny Kravitz is the worst lyricist of all time, yet there doesn't seem to be one radio format that won't play him. Adult contemporary, Top 40, R&B, smooth jazz, you name it! I hate to inform you all, but he is not the next Hendrix. "I wish that I could fly/Up to the sky/So very high/Just like a dragonfly"? Yeah. The man's brilliant!

Meet me in Chicago

Yesterday was an interesting day. It had been weeks since I had two days off in a row and so I had been spending my days off moving, grocery shopping, doing all those little necessary things that, when bunched together with work, really zap your energy. Even in my highly social career as a singing cupcake decorator, I was not receiving that all important interaction that makes us thrive as human beings.

With Friday AND Saturday off, I decided to take a "me day". I had to go into work to pick up my paycheck anyway, and since it's a 45 minute/$1.75 train ride, I decided to make the most of it. And it opened my eyes to something that I forgot along the way: I know a lot of people!

I strolled into work at about 2pm and of course I knew all of my co-workers there. After depositing my paycheck across the street, I walked about 25 minutes to Navy Pier, where I was last employed. I knew I would see one of my old work friends, but I didn't know I'd see them all. Right through the front door was a guy named Dan who'd been in a staged reading of mine. He didn't start working there until after I left, so for me it was unusual to see him there.

Just past Dan was my old co-worker, Shawn. We walked over to the stage, shootin' the breeze, with him catching me up on all the changes around the place. Then, when I arrived at the stage, I saw a few more of my old colleagues performing in the theatre troupe there. James, Richard, Matt, and Jen. Looked like a fun show. Maybe I should've considered staying there.

While I was watching that, a girl named Sara snuck up behind me and said hello. Sara and I had actually met years earlier when I was in "Tony n' Tina's Wedding" and she was living with on of my then co-workers. Later, Sara and I would go on to work with each other at the Pier.

After a few conversations with my former fellow Navy Pier Players, it was time to see yet another one, Deb, perform her one woman show. It was wonderful to see all these people and to see that they were all doing so well. It made me wish I had more exciting things to tell them than that I was working as a singing cupcake decorator. That's one of those jobs that sounds really fun and unique, but that you as an artist feel like you are wasting your time with. I was pretty sure it didn't get much lower than that.

I visited a little while longer, seeing a few other former co-workers and the boss that fired me (us) before heading out. And it just so happened that Amanda, another NP Player who'd been fired with me was waitressing at a restaurant on the pier at that moment, so I said hello to her. That's what, eight people that I've seen that I wasn't expecting to? Oh well, you shake a hive and you expect a few bees, right?

Deb invited me to have a drink with her afterwards and I didn't. I felt bad saying no. It's not everyday you see an old friend. But today was about me getting out and being free...not getting angry about my old job. I respectfully declined and left the pier.

With the exception of about 15 minutes when I was eating a burrito, I proceeded to walk around the city of Chicago aimlessly for the next 3 and a half hours. I walked up Michigan Avenue and down. I walked to State Street. Then Hubbard and Wells. Somewhere I remember being almost completely alone when I walked past a man on his belly who was painting the bottom of a fire hydrant. I thought to myself, "I wonder if this man is an artist who resents that he's wasting his time painting the bottoms of fire hydrants?" Then I wondered, "Does he think that painting the bottoms of fire hydrants is art?" Suddenly, I felt a little bit better about my current lot in life.

I would like to tell you that this is the end of the story. It's not that interesting now that it's all typed out. But it's not. When I had gotten to Hubbard and Wells, I walked north to North Avenue. For almost my entire four year tenure in Chicago, my life has revolved around this intersection. Pipers Alley is the name of the building on the corner. It houses "Tony n' Tina' Wedding" where I worked for 2 and a half years and the Second City Training Center where I studied for over a year and performed "Guy-anetics" with my friends Paul and Ryan. My buddy Pete and I started an open mic 16 blocks over on North Avenue and then moved it to a block away from Wells, and then moved it again onto Wells, east of North, then on Wells west of North, then on Wells east of North again. I worked at a Quizno's right there for four days and came within one interview of being hired for a lucrative position as a storage facility manager on the same street where I always parked my car. Yes, I knew this area like the back of my hand and I after a brief phone chat with my friend Carmen (who directed the staged reading that Dan from Navy Pier was in AND was in TNTW with me) I decided to go and see a show. I didn't know what was playing that night and I decided to see a show called "I Don't Speak Community College" on the Second City's "Donny's Skybox" stage. I knew nothing about the show. Not who was in it or who had written it or who was producing it. All I knew was that it was $8 and lasted only about 50 minutes. So I bought a ticket and waited for about twenty minutes before--ah, ha! Who should walk up the steps but Maria! Maria had been in TNTW after I left and I met her at a bar and asked her out. We went out once, she didn't think it would work romantically, and we stayed in touch as friends. So much so that when I needed a leading lady for my staged reading, I recommended her to Carmen who thought she was perfect for the role. Strangely enough, when I was talking to Carmen, she mentioned that she had just heard from Maria THAT MORNING but made no mention of her coming to see this show that I was about to see.

Now you're thinking...don't. This story doesn't have any good parts like, "When our eyes met, it rekindled a..." blah blah blah. Stay with me.

So now I start talking to Maria and her roommate who know somebody in the show. I tell them I didn't have any particular reason for seeing that show, I just was in the area. Then all of the sudden, another sneak attack...this time from a guy named Mike. Mike had done stand up at my open mic a bunch of times, but I had no idea he was in this show. Now I had a reason!!!

The doors open and we sit down...I sit with Maria and her roommate. The place is packed! Then, while I'm sitting there waiting for the show to start, yet another person sneaks up from behind me and says hello. It's Gina! Gina and I went to college together and she was in the same comedy troupe at different times. Gina was also with her fiance, Wes, who was in the troupe with her. (Incidentally, Gina and I made out during the intermission of some show one time. It was fun, but a feat which we did not ever repeat and would not repeat this night.) Gina knew someone else in the show but had met the friend of Maria's roommate a while back and so now we were all in this together.

Still, for all that we had in common, when the show ended, I was out of there. I didn't want to be a fifth wheel. After all, this was my day of freedom, not of awkwardly latching on to other people's parties!

I talked to the Tech Director, Jason, who TD'd my show and then left to get a cigar and a drink. About halfway between the cigar shop and the bar I walked past Boston Market. Sitting inside was James from Navy Pier. I did the knock and wave (I had just seen him seven hours and about 2 miles earlier, after all) and continued on my way. At the bar, I sucked down a Barcardi and Coke and left for the train. Home sweet home. But my night wasn't over. Because as I sat there on the train, looking at the floor, some guy with a poker case sat next to me and the guy next to him began chatting him up, looking for a game. The man next to me told the guy he was welcome to join the game if he didn't mind playing with a bunch of comics. Then he introduced himself as Bill. I know Bill. He came to my open mic a few times. So when the other guy left, I turned to Bill and re-introduced myself. Bill now lives about a half a block from my old apartment, on the same street! Small world.

Bill would be the last person I would see on my trip that I knew. And it was amazing that without trying I ran into nearly a dozen familiar faces in a city of nine million people. I guess I belong here. But what's even more amazing is that, when I came home I went straight upstairs to check my email and found one from a woman I haven't even met yet. She saw my profile online a few weeks ago and we've been emailing for a couple of days now. Incredibly, as excited as I was to see all those people I knew, I was even more excited to hear from the one that I haven't met yet.

Ain't life ironic?

Watch that first step...it's a doozy!

All right, folks! This is it: My first ever blog post, Seems strange, considering how opinionated I am, but that's what comes out of being a starving actor.

I'll keep this short(er) because I have to get ready for work. But let me give you, at least, some insight.

This whole thing started because my old acting teacher, Dr. Rodger Smith, sent me an email to sign me up. I clicked on the link and didn't quite know what I was doing. I think I was supposed to add to his group, but somehow I've fallen bass ackwards into my own blog. Hmm.

I'm living in Evanston, IL right now and it's been a wild ride. This week marks the four year anniversary of my moving to the Chicago area. I had been living in Florida when an audition opportunity arose that coincided with a trip I was taking to Chicago. I auditioned on a Friday, was hired on a Saturday, quit my job in Florida on Sunday from the airport, flew back, packed up my car and left on Monday, arrived in Wheaton, IL on Tuesday, began rehearsals on Wednesday, and performed on Saturday. That was "Tony n' Tina's Wedding" and I was in it for a turbulent two and a half years. After that came a children's theatre show where I played a Ralph-Kramden-esque-pirate-alligator, and then a show I co-wrote and produced with two buddies, "Guy-anetics". I was a professional singer in the Navy Pier Players after that and oversaw two staged readings of my play "Lowe Self Esteem or The Yellow Badge of Cowardice", one in New York (from a distance) and one in Chicago. I graduated from the Second City Conservatory, ran a stand up comedy open mic for two years, and now am a singing cupcake decorator at The Hershey Company. In four years, I have spent less than one month NOT performing!! I've been lucky, but I haven't made much money.

I've recently auditioned for two major theatres in Chicago, Victory Gardens and The Goodman. I don't know what will come of them but I personally was not satisfied with my results. Now I'm reading "Audition" by Michael Shurtleff and am working on making myself a better--and more visible--actor.

I still keep in touch with my family as much as possible. I love to watch Cubs games and am excited for the Colts to start kickin' butt. I'm living with my best friend's girlfriend and her Chihuahua, and I enjoy the occasional cigar.

Maybe I've rambled a bit too long, but that gives you a little foundation of what I'll be building on in coming posts. I hope you're all doing well. You'll hear from me again soon.