Lint Trap, part 2

I've been working on a couple of different projects lately, which is partially why, until yesterday, you haven't heard from me in a while.

For the past couple of months I've been doing some side work with my buddy Reynald for Prestige Comedians. Reynald started Prestige about a year and a half ago and he had an idea which, if it worked, would make us both very rich. So far, it hasn't.

As part of Prestige, but not part of the "big" project, I decided to start a comedy troupe. Simple enough. I've started two others in the past, and been involved with the beginnings of two more. The difference this time was that there wasn't a group of talented people who had a lot of talent and the desire to work together. Nope, this time around it's just me--and it has been rough going.

I held auditions and got 16 responses but on the day of auditions, only 5 people showed up...of varying degrees of talent. I don't want to start any old comedy troupe, but the BEST comedy troupe, and I could see that wasn't going to happen. In the weeks that followed, I received a few more inquiries, but was not able to put anything together. I even went to a student show at Second City to recruit people. There were two really good prospects, but I heard no response. I kind of lost interest.

What I decided I would rather do is write a show that showcases me. Not necessarily a one man show, but a show with a small cast with me as the central focus. I've begun to put things in place for this project, which will probably be a much larger undertaking than I had thought. I hope to develop a website for cross-promotional purposes, posting movies, songs, and other tidbits on a regular basis to entice people to see the show, and then use the show to entice people to go to the website, and on and on. I'm pretty in love with the idea of being self-reliant for a change.

Then I got a response from those talented Second City cats, and they're interested in the troupe yet. Don't know if they'd be interested in the latter project. I'll let you know how things turn out.

I'm also working on writing a musical. I started to write it, but it wasn't turning out to well, so I've decided to write in short story form first and base it off of that. The short story started with a full head of steam, and now it has slowed down. Who knew a short story could take so long to write!?

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On March 28th, I read this story on Yahoo News. I've been meaning to comment on it ever since but I haven't had the time. I just went back to my email to reread it and unfortunately, the page has expired. See how far behind I've gotten?

In the article, if you'll allow me to bery general, this couple in India were officially divorced because one or the other of the husband or wife had said some word three times--while sleeping! I thought it was peculiar. I know we're not fighting a war in India, but in a geographic context, we're fighting in that part of the world against people who still base public policy who believe similarly. Iraq is not India, I know, but when we complain about how long the war and the conversion to a free Iraq is taking, think about where they're coming from!

Here's another backwards story--from today and from about 2 hours south of London:

Officials in Lyme Regis have canceled a local contest and tourist attraction of over 30 years because animal rights activists have threatened to draw negative pubilicity to the competition. What is the competition? Conger cuddling!

Conger cuddling is a "game" where two teams of nine men try to knock each other off a platform by swinging a giant conger eel, which is suspended over the harbor by a rope, at them. WHAT?!

Okay, now the 25 pound eel is actually dead so it's not being hurt. And, by God, what else are you going to do with a 25 pound dead eel? I can't see how animals have "rights" anyway(protections, sure, but not rights), but a DEAD animal? It doesn't matter if you eat it, wear it, or fling it at swaggle of nine burly Brits, the damn thing doesn't feel a thing!

Now, before I sound like I'm condoning the practice I would also like to ask, who came up with this "game" and why can't they just go bowling? It's much--less disgusting!

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I just spent a couple of days in Indiana visiting my buddy Michael and his wife, Liesl, who are getting ready to move to South Carolina in a couple of days. I've been in Chicago so long, I often forget some of the simple pleasures of the Hoosier state. Scotch eggs, Ding Dong cakes, motorheads, cheap beer, cheap gas, a sky with actual stars in it, and, of course, good friends! So long, friends. Well miss you!
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Let me wrap things up here. The Cubs have taken the first three games out of a four game series with the Cardinals. Woo-hoo!!! If they win today, not only do they sweep the extended series, but I can start watching them play again. Of course, I'll have missed their sweep of their arch rivals--so what was it all for? Anyway, GO CUBS!!!! (Oh, and Keep Greg Maddux!!)

My next post will be my fiftieth. I promise it won't be retrospective!

Good day, y'all!

Lint Trap, part 1

There's so much I've wanted to write about that I won't have time to get it all in before I go to work, so here's part one.

Yes! That was me you heard (if you were listening) on The Rush Limbaugh Radio Program this Friday! I've been listening to the show for 14 years (half my life) and this was my first chance to talk to the Maha Rushie. I had a lot to say and I waited on hold for over 2 and a half hours to say it before the call screener came on and told me there was very little time and to keep it short. No hellos, no greetings, nothing. So I tried my best and I'm afraid my point was missed.

For those of you who don't know, the Chicago City Council continues to its oppressive regime on a daily basis. In addition to banning cell phone use while driving, public smoking, and foie gras (fattened goose or duck liver), they have tried at every turn to prevent Wal-Mart from opening any stores in the city. Most recently, they have decided that Wal-Mart (and other "box mart" retailers) should have to pay employees a minimum of $10/hour, what they deem a "living wage". I think this is profoundly ridiculous for a number of reasons.

First off, $10/hour in Chicago is not a "living wage"! I make $10/hour and can't afford to live IN Chicago, so I live two blocks north. The public transportation I take to work is regularly increased, but it seems to take me longer and longer to get there. If I drove, there'd be nowhere affordable for me to park. I'd have to use a meter (for a 6-8 hour shift) or a garage (HA!), not to mention the gas (and it's still quite a bit of travel time). The other day I went to see a $5 show and had planned to park on the street where I parked for free for 2 and a half years while in Tony n' Tina's Wedding. That whole street is permit only now and the nearby meters stop at 9pm, when it used to be 6. Since I had no change, my cheapest option was to valet for $10. That's twice as much as the show!!

Anyway, let's just say that between rent and standard bills, and travel, there is virtually nothing left for "living". I'm just the kind of person who could use the low, low prices of a Wal-Mart to help myself out. But if Wal-Mart has a higher minimum wage than everyone else, what savings will they pass along to me?

Additionally, the types of jobs available for minimum wage (and no, I don't agree with House Republicans who wish to raise minimum wage nationwide) are not meant to be someone's "career"! These are the entry level, unskilled laborer jobs that you start out at so that you can improve yourself and move onto bigger, better things. Even if it is your life's dream to rip the tickets at a movie theatre, if you do your job well, eventually they'll give you a raise! No one should want to make the minimum! You should always be in pursuit of something better!

Mr. Snerdley (he's a program observer or something on the radio show) was "about ready to blow his top", thinking that I was complaining about my situation. I'm not. I made the choice to pursue this acting career of mine. I don't plan to be a singing cupcake decorator for very long. My complaint is that politicians on a local and national level want to make what is minimum comfortable. And it should never be! (Unless we're talking about the minimum amount of discomfort.)

Anyway, I wish I'd had time to talk more with El Rushbo. Those who heard it said the greatest part of the conversation was the long pause (known as dead air) after I told him what I do. "I'm a singing cupcake decorator!" Looooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg pause. Then what came next was my favorite part. This great conservative man, who hobnobs with celebrities and world leaders, said the words, "Singing cupcake decorator?"

Brilliant!

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I'm not new to radio call ins. Just the day before, on Thursday, you might have heard me on Mancow's Morning Madhouse. I shouldn't get into too much detail because I play characters, not myself, and that would ruin the facade. Let's just say I've spent 7 and a half hours on hold for radio shows this week. Whew!

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If I haven't told you, earlier this summerI gave up watching the Cubs (but not rooting for them and still following them) because I have too many things to do to waste my time watching a losing effort. I will watch them again when they've won four games in a row, a feat they have not accomplished this whole season. They currently have a two game win streak against the Cardinals (yea!!!) and play the Redbirds two more games. How sweet would that be? Go Cubs!

In more baseball news, the Milwaukee Brewers have added chorizo to the sausage race. A oversized "chorizo", known as "El Picante" will run with the Italian, Polish, hot dog, and bratwurst on Saturday in the sausage race held during each Brewers home game. After that, he'll be sent to the minors to earn his chops. Ain't that America? Lure the Mexicans here with hopes of great things, then send them to work in the farms. I wonder if the "El Picante" is legal?
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More to come...I have to go to work

DM2K6 vs. DM1996

This Saturday the 8th, out in Ft. Wayne, around 40 Snider High School graduates, Class of '96, will celebrate their 10 year reunion. I won't be there.

According to the reunion website, only 36 graduates have paid to attend. Since the graduating class was around 375, it hardly seems to me like much of a reunion at all. I'll give the reunion committee the benefit of the doubt. They're nice people, and I hardly think that there's a single thing I still hold against any of them after 10 years (if there was anything to hold against them in the first place).

Since I am unable to attend and my ego tells me that EVERYONE will be asking about me, allow me to skip the ten years in between and compare/contrast Dan Marrero 1996 to Dan Marrero 2006 for you.

Physical:
After some fluctuation, DM2K6 is about 40 lbs lighter and has substantially less hair (male pattern baldness) than the '96 version. I don't part my hair much anymore and prefer to comb it with a bath towel.

Advantage: DM2K6. I still have choices in the hair department, but the new svelte Dan is much healthier.

Professional:
I had a job when I was 15, acting in a murder mystery, but in '96 I was still sucking the parental teat. Everything was paid for by someone else leaving me as much time to pursue acting for free. Ten years later, I'm scraping by in an embarrassing retail job (I'm a singing cupcake decorator, in case you haven't been reading these blogs) and doing little "here-and-there" jobs on the radio or from my desk at home just trying to make ends meet so that I can afford to continue to pursue that acting career. (And I have done some professional acting, but remember, I said I was skipping the ten years in between. If you don't believe me, just ask Jennie Miller or Mrs. Twite.)

Advantage: DM2K6. Yeah, the retail stuff and the hand-to-mouth paycheck sucks, but it keeps me motivated. If I give myself any other options, I'll take them...and then I'll be stuck doing something I really hate. Plus, I am much more skilled now than I was then and am better able to express myself through my art.

Personal (friendships): Most of my closest friends in 1996 were not of the class of 1996, but I still keep in touch with many of my friends from back then. My best friend since then I also met in 1996, though not until I went off to college. Most of my friends with whom I have semi-regular contact are from the past 5 years.

Advantage: 1996. Old friends are still the best.

Personal (romances):
You never saw me walking around with many girlfriends back in 1996 and you don't see any of that today either. Surprise: I am NOT gay. Just in case you were wondering. I am, perhaps, a little overly selective and that's why I am single still.

Advantage: 1996. At least back then I still had hope. And hair.

Personal (familial):
Back in '96, it was me and my parents living in a big old house in Lake Forest. One brother was off at school and the other was in the Air Force while my sister was somewhere in Fort Wayne, doing something.

In 2006, my family is separated by thousands of miles (I'm in Chicago and I've got family in Seattle, St. Petersburg, and Ft. Wayne), but it's possible that this is the closest we've been in years! You can read previous posts to hear all about my nieces and nephews that I love so VERY much. I miss them all a lot and I'm not too selfish to realize it.

Advantage: 2006. The family that stays apart grows together, or something like that.

In What Other Ways Have I Changed?:
Well, let's start with the easy ones. I will drink alcohol now and I do smoke the occasional cigar, but nothing else. I am able to use someone else's glass or fork or bottle without getting too grossed out (depends on the person, really). There are greater peaks between my "outgoing" side and my "reserved" side...that is to say, I can be even more outgoing or even more reserved. I'm not more opinionated, probably, but have a better grasp of my opinions and how to advance them. I've switched from 2% to skim. I attend church regularly as opposed to whenever my parents make me. And I can do a back hand spring. No kidding. It hurts like hell, but I can do it!

Advantage: DM2K6. Change is good as long as you don't lose sight of what is inherently right and wrong.

Winner: Dan Marrero 2006 has it all over the '96 model. And I've learned that time not only heals wounds but breaks down the walls we formed around us. I have friends now that I never would've (or could've) been friends with in high school...had I known them, then. Cliques disappear with time. And I also have fewer enemies now. It's really easy--if I don't like you, I don't have to pretend that I do.

What else can I say? Dan Marrero 2006 is pretty damn kick ass!

**Dedicated to the memory of Jason Douthat.

*photos: Left, Christina Schaab and me, graduation night. Right, me today, messing with my hair.